New Side Kick’s Training – Class One 0-1 month
Congratulations on your first step to becoming a Legendaddy. Now it’s time to master your skills and get your side kick-in-training up to speed.
Though I’m the best, the original Legendaddy, the world needs more awesome Dads … just like me.
So, you brought your little one home, not really sure what to do with them. The baby doesn’t do much except cry, poop, and wiggle.
It’s mostly mom running the show at this point, right?
Yeah, sort of. I mean, she does have the goods that the baby needs.
I love my wife, but I wanted to kind of wanted to one-up her and create this cool-Dad bond.
I mean, my son now goes bananas when he sees me come into a room. He babbles, but I know what he’s really saying, “AH… OMG! It’s Legendaddy! He’s so cool, go away Mommy! I want Legendadddddyy!!”
Mom is a little jealous. ** deep laugh**
At this point in your sidekick’s life, it’s all about training with play. You have to focus on skills that are easy for them to learn now, so they can master the cool stuff we actually like later.
So two super skills you can help baby master during this first class:
1. X-ray vision
2. Neck Super Strength
Cool, right? I know.
1. X-ray Vision
Baby’s vision is not fully developed when they’re born. Their vision is fuzzy at best, and they can only see the outline of things.
When my son looked at his Legendaddy, all he saw was a handsome blob. At this point, they can’t fully appreciate your good looks.
I wanted my little guy to get his eyes in top condition, and it might seem lame now, but do just do what I tell you … it works.
I got this bright, noisy tissue paper toy that I would dance around in front of him in different spots for him to track with his eyes.
I know. I was in your position thinking, really? This is what my manliness has been reduced to? Puppets?
Carry on my friends, it’s worth it.
Black and White books. If you don’t have one yet, get one now.
I’ve caught myself looking at these for fun while sipping my bourbon and eating jerky.
Since baby can only see the outlines of things, black and white images are something they can actually see fully. You’ll be amazed at the instant focus they have when you show them one.
Extra Legend points – break out your classic black and white James Bond tux, and dance around your baby. Like a boss.
2. Neck Super Strength
Having your side-kick practice holding up their neck may seem trivial, but you would be wrong buddy. It’s ok, according to Mom, we naturally do everything wrong.
Let me help you do something right!
Why is the holding up the neck important? Baby holding up their neck is the first step to becoming mobile.
You need neck strength to:
• My favorite past time, eating [bear jerky – regular jerky isn’t manly enough]
Initially, your baby will hate it. Oh boy.
They’ll cry the first several times, like the time I cried when my wife said no to buying jet skis.
That was rough.
Let me break it down for you:
1. Lay your baby on their stomach for 30 seconds to a minute at a time.
2. Try to get their attention with their favorite toys, or by lying on your stomach across from them and making noise.
3. After several attempts, they’ll get the idea and start really trying to lift their head.
As you work on improving their vision, you’ll have more options for toys and items to distract with during tummy time. These skills go hand-in-hand.
Alright pal, it’s time to take what we learned today and apply it.
Show your wife how good of a Legendaddy you are by being proactive with your side-kick-in-training. My wife was so impressed, she hollered back at her man. The good holler, not the usual angry one, like that one time I spilled her breast milk.
Remember the goal is to get your side-kick to like Daddy better than Mommy.
Until next time my friends. Up, up and away … to go sneak a nap.